Eulogy- Tinkerbell

Friends, we are gathered to mourn the passing of the beloved fairy Tinkerbell. Tink, as she was known to friends and fans, is now fluttering like a butterfly to the pearly gates of that great Neverland in the sky. Although tiny enough to fit in a coffee pot she fluttered and winked her way into the hearts of many. After surviving the great earthquake of 1908 at the age of four, Tink sprinkled her pixie dust across the country until finally finding a home at Disney World in Orlando in the 1950s. Tink is survived by her long time co-stars and friends Peter Pan and Wendy, who were tragically not swift enough to save her from Robert Iger's escaped pet boa constrictor. She will be deeply missed, but will live on in the hearts and on the bumper stickers of middle-aged bleach blonde women everywhere. To honor her memory Disney, through an exclusive contract with QVC, will be running a special on Tinkerbell merchandise for a limited time; ten percent of all proceeds will be donated in Tink's name to the Escaped Pet Boa Constrictor Awareness Program.